Tical’s Corner – The Rainmaker

My grandfather never met a drink he didn’t like just as today’s guest never met a 3 she didn’t like.  The Rainmaker has not only been the most consistent and lethal 3 point shooter in the Women’s league for the past year, she also has the pleasure of joining the CAC write up team after winning CAC’s Next Top Personality beating out the hundreds of you losers that submitted write-ups.  Luckily for those of you who have her reporting for your league, Catherine can hook up a write-up as well as she can hit from long distance.  Today, we got a meeting in the ladies room and I aint talking about Jamn 94.5.

Catt, it is a pleaure to have you step into the Corner

The pleasure is all mine, Tical.  And thanks for the rice crispy treats, but I gather your roommate must have made those.

Uh, yea, but I told Mama Tical to make them so that should count for something.

 

1.  Please give us some background info about yourself.

Well for starters, my name is actually Catherine, not Cathryn. That should help you with your Google searches of me Tical, I’m sure in the past you had trouble digging up info this phenom named Cathryn Brady.

Yea I usually just use MySpace or Facebook to dig up info on girls but the court says I canít use those websites for another 5 years.  Who ever told me 13 was the new 18 never conferred with Johnny Law.  But enough about my legal niches, this is about you.  People are sick of hearing about my life.  Give us some more info about the Rainmaker.

Let’s see…I’m the youngest of 6 – 3 boys, 3 girls to be exact ( yes I am in curls) and I’m originally from East Rockaway, NY. I graduated from an all girls Catholic HS in Hempstead NY in 2001 and decided to turn the tables on the Lord Jesus and attend Brandeis University in Waltham. My Jr. and Sr. year our team was ranked as low as #3 in the nation and we ultimately won the New England ECAC championship back to back. After graduation I moved to Brighton and got an apt with Moonboots (no, you canít come over)

Typical woman move.  They name streets after you: One Way.  Here I invite you over and give you an interview and rice crispy– you know what gimme those back (ripping the treat from her hand)

Ok youíre right.  If we ever throw a ìtweeze your own eyebrow partyî you will be number one on the Evite to our Apt.

(Tical in deep Ponderation ñ yea thatís right if Stephen Colbert can make up words so can I))  Ok, you can have your rice crispy treat back.  I apologize Mama raised me to be sensitive.  Anything else to add about the road you have traveled to get here today?

Not really.  Life just seemed incomplete until last summer when we stumbled upon the CAC league.

Life without CAC should be a sin.

Haha, yup that sounds about right coming from you.

Who from Northeastern have you been talking too?  Okay my friends told me they wanted to set me up with ìPat.î  Once I was at the bar and found out it was a guy what was I suppose to do?  If I didnít go home with him that would have been rude…(awkward silence as we stare at each other.  Catt begins to roll her eyes and gently nibble on her rice crispy treat)  You know what, stop making this interview about me.  Iím not here to talk about the past!   

You’re right I’m sorry.  No more cheap shots at you, I promise.  Plus, judging by your reaction I can tell I struck a nerve.  I’ve seen this before.  He never called you after, did he?

Not even a thanks for breakfast.”  Since then, I haven’t picked up my spatula for my Johhny Cakes. Please let’s keep to the Rainmaker and not Tical’s confused college experimenting.

 

2.  What was it like to win CAC’s Next Top Personality beating out the legions of other applicants?

Ha, did anyone else even apply?

Dee & Fault I believe were the only other two applicants.  And as Homer Simpson would say ìDee Fault, Dee Fault, wahoo!  The two sweetest words in the English dictionary.î

I am starting to feel a little bit like I got duped.  But, seriously I am enjoying getting to know some of the other players in the league while working the games. haha thats a lie -we both know I donít talk to anyone in a social manner.

Catt címon now, youíre a social butterfly.  Youíre just a little cuddly social butterfly who just happens to have razor sharp claws no biggie.

Iím working on it. 

I can give you my therapistís number.  She works wonders.  3 years straight with a dry mattress this July.

Weíll just put that in the maybe idea pile ok?

A simple no would have done just fine.  Do you like the job at least?

I definitely like watching the guys play because they can be really exciting to watch.  And I do my best to keep their stats accurate.

When in doubt add 2.  People will like you more and that way you donít have to socialize with them to get them to like you.

Haha, good idea.  However, the write up portion that can be challenging, but Iím working on improving that in the coming weeks.  My thoughts just donít seem to flow as freely as yours do Tical.  But you seem to get a lot of practice with your Tical’s Corner blog. Did you keep a diary growing up?    

No, my mom didnít like me keeping any secrets from her.  Plus, those locks that they come with are never secure, anyone can pick them.  Not that I researched or even thought about getting one ever.

Riiiiiiiiight.

 

3.  How many times have you seen the Sex and the City Movie?

I havenít seen the S&TC movie and I donít know if I will. I’m not really a movie theatre person, but if I do go, bet your ass its going to be to see Indiana Jones.  I’d like to raid Harrison Ford’s Ark if you know what I mean.  Ew. Do you?

The pure of heart never have any clue.  If I take my halo off maybe I would get a clue to squeeze on into my brain, but I didnít do my hair today so itís going to have to stay right there above my head.  Iíll just assume you meant you want to put the ìcrackî on his ìwhipî

 

4.  How great is it to be apart of the glitz and glamour of being a CAC writer-upper?

Do people like my write ups? Will they buy me shots at the next league night out?

Yes and YES.  Actually since you are a girl, they would have bought you shots anyways.  But be weary of telling people you are on the staff because if you have wronged them in any way at the gym they are going to talk your ear off all night about it.  Nothing better to do than listen to the drunken ramblings of a person who you didnít mention in a write-up or didnít give them the correct amount of assists.

 

5.  When people talk about great duos in history they talk about greats such as:  Peanut Butter and Jelly; Stockton and Malone; Starsky and Hutch; Captain and Tinneal; Free Clinics and Brothels; Tical and officiating….Where does the “Rainmaker and Moonboots” duo rank amongst some of those great pairs?

K fo and I go way back….way back to our struggles to get through a mile run during preseason workouts Freshman year @ Brandeis. She really just had me at hello, Tical.  She’s the Rose Nyland to my Dorothy Spornak.

Golden Girls will always have a special place in my heart.  Growing up, I had a huge crush on Bee Arthur.  Thereís something about a chick that looks like a used catcherís mitt that hits me in that special place.

 

6.  Is Pack-A-Vestal the best female player in CAC?

Well if a player is only as good as her teammates around her, then yes she is. Iím not sure what that means. But Caitlin certainly packed her vest in RPI’s heroic comeback vs. Brandeis –> http://my.brandeis.edu/athletics/one-game?group_id=1418&item_id=193246. Please note that I played 1 more minute that Caitlin did in that losing effort.

 

7.  Next season, the NBA is going to start fining players for flopping in response to MY call to action (http://www.crfcbasketball.com/tcorner.php?newsid=238)  Is this a good idea for CAC to follow?   Maybe deducting points from the player-rater?

Well, how about the CAC just tries to focus a tad on recognizing the fundamental referee calls – you know, like a personal foul, traveling violation, 3 seconds. Once the refs can get a handle on those toughies, then maybe they can move on to making those all-so-common-in-the-women’s-game ‘flopping’ calls you speak of.

What are you talking about all the refs at CAC are board certified and are of the highest quality?

Which board?

Um, the Refereeing Geneva Convention Board of Referees Who Ref 4 on 4.

That was the funniest thing you could make up?  Ridiculous.  And actually, while we’re on the subject, I meant to ask – do you think the CAC can look into getting the women’s ref’s one of those tennis umpire chairs? That way they can just sit comfortably and relax with their whistle in their pocket instead of having to do all that awful standing at half court. Or skateboards? Itís tough to get up and down court.

You say ìrefsî in the plural sense but now that I think about it Iím pretty sure Iíve reffed 90% of your games.  And yes, I agree a chair and some tanning equipment would be great perks for our brave CAC officials.

 

8.  What is the best aspect of CAC, besides the officiating?

The mirrored walls allow me the chance to make it rain, times 2.

Haha.  If you had the power to improve or add one thing at CAC, besides the officiating, what would it be?

Sandwiches after every game, a sideline that you can fit chairs or bench-like seating on, video highlight reels of individual players, a working scoreboard that doesn’t involve a tae kwon dao neck/head maneuver to view, an organist, “we’re #1′ foam fingers, complimentary jerseys with your name on the back. Oh you said 1 thing….

Hold the phone, you give a woman an inch and she wants to take a mile?  That is unheard of.

Youíre right, I apologize.  For someone that Iíve heard can barely give any woman an inch it is unfair of me to ask for more. 

Hey, I thought you promised no more cheap shots!  Besides, donít believe everything you read on that CAC ladies locker-room wall.

Fingers crossed?

How old are you?  A promise is a promise no matter what you-

No “finger’s crossed” was one of the things I read on the wall.  The wall said you like it when a girl crosses-

Ok, ok, ok, no need to get into what’s written where about the “shockers” that Tical likes on the weekends, which isnt true anyways, so let’s just move on to my final question.

 

10.  Now that you are a CAC celebrity, please allow your viewers to live through your.  Please describe the Rainmaker’s typical weekend, which I’m sure if it were on the highway, it would be in the fast lane.

Well, if you’d asked me this question a few weeks ago, Iíd have told you to grab your Easy Pass Tical. Unfortunately, I’ve sorta slowed as of late, but with summer coming on, I’m bound to get back to my old ways. Usually, I race home from work to secure at least a 2 hour nap before finally stirring around 830 to order pizza, or perhaps boil up a pot of tasty ravioli, if theres time. By 9pm, Moonboots and I are eye to eye on outfits and venues, and despite my pulling a temper tantrum every 2 minutes because I dont like the way my jeans grab hold of my ass, eventually Kristin talks me down and I come to embrace the painted-on denim look. We grab the 57, but only after first missing it, leading Kristin to Prefountaine it up the block to the next stop, while momentarily stopping along the way to hail the bus as if it were a taxi. Back in the day, destination was The Kells, since after about a week I managed to get us in the door w/o waiting or a cover charge. I’m cool. Then I cut a mutha-fing rug for 3 to 4 hours, before stumbling home to 348 Faneuil, but not before calling Hoy Hing from the cab so that our Chinese food strategically arrives at the same time we do. Then I enjoy my Crab Rangoon out on the lanai while recapping which Brazilian said what and so on.  Saturdays are typically spent at the Cambridge Mall, working off that monstrous hangover with a burrito from Anna’s Taqueria. Then its home for another big guy nap. Saturday night I really just go where the wind takes me, and Sunday, well, thatís a day of quiet reflection and mental prep for the upcoming 4 on 4 battle. Mix in a road rage incident or 2 and basically, thatís my weekend in a nutshell.

Road Rage is my next favorite rage to Ref Rage.  They both turn the nicest people into people who wish HIV upon you for either cutting them off on the road or missing a foul call.  Either way, they provide endless entertainment for passers by and spectators alike so Iím all for both.  Catt, Ms. Lady Rainmaker, thank you for your time, good luck with both new jobs and may all your CAC groupies be the ones that do not stalk or turn into those crazy idiots that end up killing you like in Blades of Glory or what happened with that Gandhi guy.