Tical’s Corner – The Reihl Tim Deeeeeeeeel

Last season’s A1 co-rookie of the year made a huge splash among the CRFC community with his game, but the Reihl Deeeeeel has proven to be much more than an on the court phenom. Today, I got him to step into the Corner to talk about hoops, life and to get some advice about womenÖ

1. As always Tim, give us some background information on yourself
(Where u grew up, b-ball highlights and low lights).

Born and raised Mainer (Cumberland where the cows roam). I used to ride my snowmobile to school. Played prep ball in CT at Loomis Chaffee and then played at Brandeis under 3 different coachesÖ Surprisingly, the worst coach I’ve ever had, at any level, was ex-NBA coach and ring winner, Chris Ford.  We all know Larry Legend coached that team anywaysÖ

Iíll always love Larry Legend.  I pay him the greatest tribute of all time whenever someone asks me for a signature for something I couldnít care about (a petition for example) I always sign Lawrence Bird.  Sometimes you get some great reactions when they read the names out loud.

2. Ok, first reaction to finding out you were playing on a team called 7AM in PTown?

I still don’t get it. I don’t know what “PTown” is. All I know is that I really enjoy the mandatory team showers and our bi-weekly no pants practices.

Whoa, be easy Tim.  Keep that in the clubhouse.  Thereís a lot of judgmental people out there still stuck in the Dark Ages and wouldnít accept my system of ìteamî unity.

3. Who did you have in your final four on your bracket?

I didn’t even fill one out this year. I feel like it’s such a crap show with those things anyways. Every time I fill one out I convince myself that I’m going to get every single one right. And then I have 4 teams left after the first 4 days and I feel like driving off the Zakim Bridge.

No need to take your mistakes out on your car and our bridge you selfish Maineiac.

4. A little multiple choice for you, everyone loves those questions.  Hypothetically of course, but last Friday night at a bar, a girl told me to drop dead after I asked her to make out with me or something classy like that. Should I have:

A. been persistent and kept hitting on her b/c girls love persistence and I do not fear mace. (I have no nerve endings on either side of my face)

B. dropped dead right in front of her, just to make her feel bad and to make a point

C. Go for her less attractive but probably more receptive friend.

First of all, mace hurtsÖa lot. Secondly, why were you going for the attractive one anyways? Everyone knows that the quickest way to a hot girl’s heart is through her ugly friends pants. Remember, if all else fails, just lean in for a final moment and whisper into her ear that she smells like a stripper. Girls love that line.

Haha, that might just be the best piece of mentorship I have ever received, besides on my 12th rthday, having my dad give me that birds and the bees conversation, which ended with the young bird demanding the lovely bee to sign a pre-nup before she goes after his nest.

5. Riddle me this, how is it that out of all 280million people we got in the US, we end up 2 consecutive presidential elections with Al Gore, John Kerry, and the intellectual icon George W as the people we have to vote for? Isnt that like choosing between syphilis, herpes or gonorrhea?

I typically pass on partaking in political banter, but I’ll take gonorrhea for $500, Alex.

6. What is the most fascinating aspect about CRFC hoops?

Tibbs’s CRFC Cribs might just be it. Either that, or the small hoops. They’re smaller than normal, right?

Every night I have a poor night shooting, youíre dam right they are too small.

7. Is Doc Rivers sandbagging?

If he isn’t we should fire him and hire Pete Rose.

B. Convenient Danny Ainge was sitting next to Kevin Durant’s mother at the Texas game during the Big 12 Tourney?

I actually heard they were dating and trying to procreate. Is that against NBA rules?

Only if she signed with an agent before hopping in the sack with him.  Itís some obscure NCAA rule

8. Will the Reihl Deeeeeeel be attending the next League Nite Out on Friday May 4th ?  Will you be bringing the girl?ÖB/c you know if so, she got to bring a friend for yours truly.

I think that I am going to have to attend. Where is it going to be this time around? Is Tonic a staple?

Usually it is at Tonic, but that place closes at 1am and that is when me and the Wolverine just start heating up our hunnie huntingÖMostly b/c that is when the females in attendance have had enough alcohol to lower their standards just enough.  This May 4th, the Greatest Bar is where its at, baby!

And do I have to let my girls’ friends know who I am bringing them to meet? That might really put a wrinkle in the planÖ

Absolutely not! Do not tell them where you are going.  Itís like trying to get Garfield to the vet, you just got to tell them you love your girl soooooo much you are treating her and her friends to a dinner at The Top of the Hub.  Any man with a girlfriend should be immune to the look of disappointment that will ensue once she realizes where you have actually taken her.

9. Be honest, I am a better captain than Tibbs? You like Mondays better than Wednesdays don’t you? Where’s his interview for you, huh? He doesn’t appreciate you like I do.

Why do you have to put me in this position? I’m a big fan of both you and Tibbles and Bits. Don’t you think that should be his teams name next season?

No, but that was a great way to dodge a tough question, but everyone can read between the lines and see that you chose me.

10. Finally Tim, leave me with the greatest piece of advice you have ever received from anyoneÖcoach, father, friend, parole officer, etcÖ

Don’t stick your dick in a blender.

Now you tell me?  Where was that gem 2 weeks, 14 beers, and a trip to the emergency room ago?  Tim, thanks for stopping by the corner and thanks for sending this interview back to me in an email rather than an attachment so I had to go through everything again and structure the sentences.  Good luck on Monday nights and try to ruin Tibbsí Wednesday night team.

Thanks for having me, no charge for the advice…

 

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