What I Learned at League Night Out

NOT What I Remember

Before I join Serge on the sidelines, not doing much of anything, I figured it was time for a new blog.  It’s been a good 5 days since the Tempest at Tonic and since everyone has had sufficient time to recover, it’s time to take a glance back at the lessons that can be gleamed from Allston’s Allegory or whatever else you want to call what was, indeed, another fine LNO.  Contrary to Tical’s insistence, it is possible for a member of the CRFC community to learn from recent League Night Out history.  As proof of such, Iíve decided to list all the things Iíve learned from what may have been my most eventful Friday the 13th ever.  No small feat, considering this would be a much shorter blog had I decided to list all of the things Iremembered from this past LNO.


  1. CRFC is a much quieter place without Jpro around.  As evident to everyone in attendance, Jason Provencher is a man of many words, few intelligible, but all of them loud.  Since he’s been on the sideline these last 5 months, the walls echo a little louder but the message boards are a bit softer, so it was good to see him back, even if it was just for a few hours.  Also, I owe him my life, since he could have left me on the side of the road

9.   There is, beyond any shadow of a doubt, absolutely NO reason to pre-game for LNO.  None, whatsoever.  This should be self-evident.  But was it?  Of course not.  The logic went something like this.  I wasn’t that drunk last time, and hell, if Wolverine can pull it off, so can I.

8.   With the addition of RoY to the CRFC community, the Commish no longer needs to stand on stools, while Tical no longer has the squeakiest voice in the gym.

7.   There’s nothing like Dunkin Donuts first thing in the morning to try and quell the storm in the pit of your stomach. Plus it all still tastes like vodka anyway, so there is an upside.

6.   Once even slightly inebriated, there really isn’t a shot someone won’t do.  So you’ve had a bad experience with Jack?  Thatís ok, just make sure to get drunk before drinking it, and you won’t be able to turn it down.  At least, that’s how it works for me.

5.   The CRFC Legend will only continue to grow as more teams play in more leagues, and more parties get thrown. It’s nice to see all the regulars come out have a good time, but it’s even better to stand around and talk to someone who you’ve only bitched at for hacking you.  Now we just need to find a way to get all these people onto the message boards as well.

4.   Dave Hass should be a Redskins fan, not a Jets fan.  Hear me out on this one.  My man comes in, already red around the ears, and it clearly wasnít from the drop in temperature.  Of course, the first words out of his mouth (to the 5 of us downstairs) are ìJagerbombs all around.î  Not so bad, until the next drink, Car Bombs, and on it went from there.  Hass, like Dan Snyder, is not content to just sit around while the contents of his team gel, no he needs to add more expensive and explosive players (drinks) to the mix.  So what happens? It all backfires and something always goes wrong, like losing to Tennessee, or walking into a pole as you leave at 10:30.  Or you know, earning the nickname JITT.  Aside from all that, the Jets just stink!

3.   The nice guy to asshole ratio is evident even when booze is added to the equation.  This was evident by the fact that I couldn’t go more than 3 minutes without someone replacing my empty hand with another drink.  Huge props go out to The Predator and Hass on that front.  Great job by everyone of making sure the staff was well saturated.

2.   The Hitman’s time will come!

1.   Tical is treating his (recently ended) record of 5 straight blackout/puke-fests from LNO like Williamsí batting average, DiMaggioís hit streak, and Bondsí homerun record all rolled into one.  So you know what that means ‘I’m going for it’